


No Salvation

by Fernatticus



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Nott Has Issues (Critical Role), Nott Needs a Hug (Critical Role), Self-Harm, Suicide, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:48:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24223069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fernatticus/pseuds/Fernatticus
Summary: "The group sprinted down a hallway. Behind them he could hear faint mechanical whirring, when suddenly Nott simply stopped running."This is a remix of "nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes) fanfiction called "the point of salvation never comes" It's really excellent, so I wrote a POV from Caleb during one of the loops. Please check out the original! https://archiveofourown.org/works/17769506?view_adult=true
Relationships: Nott & Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	No Salvation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/gifts).
  * Inspired by [the point of salvation never comes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17769506) by [nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife). 



> for context, Nott is stuck in a timeloop of a dungeon crawl where everytime they die they reset but she's the only one to remember it (not that caleb knows any of this)

The dungeon crawl had been going normally. The group had fought through multiple chambers and solved a few puzzles. It was a straightforward mission; grab the enchanted crystal heart and return to Ghor Dranas. They had already retrieved the item and were on their way out. 

The group sprinted down a hallway. Behind them he could hear faint mechanical whirring, when suddenly Nott simply stopped running. She fell back, and Caleb stopped instantly, the rest of the group following quickly.

"Nott, what are you doing? Is there a trap?" He asked. She pulled out her flask and took a swig, her eyes dead.

"Fuck off," She responded, drinking more.

"The fuck?" Beau whispered from behind Caleb. 

"I-I..." Caleb was totally taken aback by this change in attitude, but he was also keenly aware of the urgency of the situation. They didn't have time to talk.

"NOTT! We need to go NOW," Fjord urged. 

"Go ahead. I'm gonna try to nap," Nott responded flippantly. She waved them off and curled up on the ground. "There's a fire trap in front of the door. The code is 386."

"Nott! What are you doing?! We have to leave! NOW! Get up!" Jester screamed, terrified. Caleb stood there, totally dumbfounded.

"Nah," She responded, closing her eyes and taking a sip from her flask. "You guys can go though. Fjord, give Beau your acid resistance potion. I'll go next loop."

Caleb reached down and scooped her up into his arms. He didn't know where this was coming from, but there was no way in hell he'd leave her.

"The fuck? Stop!" She exclaimed, trying to push out of his grip.

"Nein, we need to leave. I am not leaving you here to die," He retorted, strengthening his grip on the squirming goblin.

"You're leading me to my death you ass- oh for fucks sake," She groaned. He looked down, and in one brief instant Nott had impaled herself with her short sword. 

Caleb screamed in horror, and she squirmed out of his grip, the sword still lodged in her stomach. It dawned on him she was actively trying to kill herself, but for whatever reason he wasn't totally sure.

"Nein nein nein," He muttered, horrified, as he dropped down next to her. "Little one, what have you done?"

"I stabbed myself. Obviously. You're not that dumb," She pointed out, blood dribbling down her bottom lip. He lifted a healing potion to her lips, which she swatted away with surprising force for someone who had just been deeply stabbed.

"Fuck! Nott please! Why are you doing this?" Fjord shouted. Caleb looked back at the group who all looked sufficiently horrified.

"Because Caleb's being a dick this loop. Listen, you guys can stay with me if you want as long as you don't die before me. I'm gonna go to sleep now," She slurred, leaning against the wall.

"We... we have to go. We have to leave her," Beau grabbed Jester's hand and began running. The rest of the group looked down, the guilt clear in their eyes, but followed, the only exception being Caleb who couldn't move if he wanted to.

Nott looked over at him and smiled before saying faintly, "You stayed. You always stay. I really hate you for that."

Caleb clutched her hand, tears dripping down his cheeks and onto her. He couldn't speak, the heartbreak filled his lungs.

"I love you Cay. Even when you're just paste or entails. I can't wait for the loop where I don't love you anymore and this doesn't hurt as much."

He pulled her close to him, his arms shaking. She leaned her head on him and let out a content sigh.

"If they listened to my advice, I'll die before them. If not, whatever. At least I don't have to watch. Oh hey, Caleb?"

She turned and looked up at him, her luminous eyes half lidded. He stared down at her and wiped away his tears.

"I've always wanted to do this," She said before leaning up and kissing him softly. Caleb had been frozen for the last minute, but he could feel a weak hand hold the back of his head as she kissed him delicately and soft. It was such an innocent kiss, it reminded him of his first kiss as a tween with Astrid. Nott pulled away, still gazing at him.

"That was nice. Maybe next time you'll recipro-"

"Why are you doing this?" He begged. She looked genuinely taken aback.

"I'm sorry?"

"I love you so much. You're my best friend. You've saved my life in more ways than I can count. I would do anything for you. Why are you doing this?" He was sobbing, his accent growing more and more pronounced as the life left his small friend."

"Oh wow," She gasped. She stared up at him for a moment as he sobbed uncontrollably. "Really? Friend zoned? In my final moments? Harsh dude."

Her eyes closed and she exhaled her last breath. Caleb didn't have a moment to grieve before the world went black.

The group sprinted down a hallway. Behind them he could hear faint mechanical whirring, when suddenly Nott just started crying. 

Caleb didn't remember why. He never remembered.

**Author's Note:**

> uh oh.


End file.
